Living the Flea

New Year's weekend: a time for reflection, a time for renewal, a time for New Year's Eve plans that always disappoint. It is also time for what was voted "One of America's Top 10 Flea Markets" at the Kentucky Fair and Expo Center. There is a flea market held here every month but only twice a year to they open the coveted second wing. The one with the good stuff. Unique items and weird shit that doesn't show up at the rest. Those choice items that have escaped the insatiable vacuum cleaner that is eBay that has all but killed the thrill of the hunt at flea markets across this land. There are still some folks out there that don't own a computer and never will and god bless them (every one).

Exhibit A: The ALF Phone


This item I coveted greatly. Something about talking through that cat lovin' creature from outer space was really doing it for me. I still couldn't bring myself to pay $45 (haggled down from $48) for the privilege. I asked if I could take a picture and held up my iPhone and made the statement: "Before the iPhone, there was the ALF Phone." The old man looked up at me with a note of sympathy as if I was special and said "Is that so?" He had no earthly idea what I was blathering about. That is precisely why this ALF Phone will remain in the realm of the flea market and not end up on eBay. This is also the reason why they will never get $45 for it.

Exhibit B: Box of axe handles - $2 each or 3 for $5


The box of axe handles is a good example of the abundance of peculiar but sad crap that now dominates America's flea markets thanks to eBay.

I was tempted by many things and even succumbed to two fantastic Micheal Jackson dolls (one from Thriller and the other from Beat It) which are both on display/sale at WHY Louisville (complete with sparkly glove and matching sparkly socks). The Mr. T talking doll from 1983 was talking at me pretty loud but I had the strength to look T in the eye, proclaim "enough of your jibba jabba" and walk away.



While advances in modern technology have greatly reduced the number of original items available at the flea market, the entrepreneurial spirit of these people is alive and well. These people are living the fucking dream. They are doing whatever they can to be their own boss. Clinging to any racket that will keep them out of the cubicle or off the factory belt. I got all choked up as I looked around and saw each vendor proudly hovering around their booth with whatever less-than-choice domain name they had recently registered to promote their business.

Exhibit C: Mike - He paints crystal nail files (by hand)


I was particularly struck by Mike. When I asked if I could take his picture, he was thrilled to pose behind his sign which I can safely assume he hand painted as well. It was as if he had been waiting for someone to recognize his accomplishments and by someone wanting to take his picture that day was finally here. I wish I was with TIME Magazine for Mike's sake but sadly it's just a picture from my phone that is being posted on one of the bejillion blogs out there and may be read by as many as three people.

Exhibit D: Beanie Baby Lady


As I was gathering the courage to ask folks if I could take their picture I said to this lady something idiotic like "that's a lot of beanie babies." She looked at me (again like I was probably "touched") and said "yeah I sure wish someone would buy one!" Ouch. I remember the Beanie Baby craze. People were buying and trading them like they were stocks on Wall Street and then like most markets the bottom fell out. I don't know if this is Beanie Baby Lady's primary form of income but I firmly believe that she wishes it could be.

There is an air of desperation in the eyes of these vendors but they are still out there trying to make it happen. Whether they succeed or fail, the fact that they are going for it is what I respect. I can easily see myself in this world one day. Lord knows I've collected my share of junk over the years that I will one day need to unload. If I can pay for my booth rental and have enough left over too treat me and my peeps to a Tidy Taco, it will have been a success.